Who doesn't want their shanty to be a bit savvy, a bit clever, creative, a bit sensible, sharp and ingenious?! But hey, let's face it, most of us are living on a shoestring. Here's how I'm doing it my way, making our nest a Savvy Shanty.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Grundy County Auction Incident

So you know that saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say then come sit next to me." Well that's always been a bit dear to my heart. Not that I'm hateful or cruel, but I've been known to snicker to a girlfriend about an ill conceived outfit. As I like to say, "I've never been in a house without mirrors, so I'm just not sure what happened with that ensemble". Well, those days are over. And it's all because of these guys!
Here's how the story went, Me to my girlfriend Diana, "I'm gonna go to an auction tonight. Wanna go?" Her, "Yup, can I bring my mom?" Me, "Yup, let her know I'll be in Big Daddy's truck so she might want to bring some disinfectant". I mean I gotta be prepared to haul my wares, right?!
 Well, off we went. And all is going well at the auction. Well other than this was their first auction and they didn't have a dang clue what the flop the auctioneer was jabbering about. Well we are a couple pieces of furniture into the game, some champagne flutes and a sled; we are more than warmed up.
Now let me tell you, this was not some Sotheby's auction, we were in a glorified barn and the only snacks available were some hot dogs in a crock pot (what? who cooks hot dogs in a crock pot?) and some microwave popcorn and some cokes.
Well like I said, we are warmed up, wired on coke and empty stomachs and in walks this lady who quite possibly hasn't washed her hair in a good two weeks. No lie. IT WAS NOT PRETTY! And it was BIG! And she had super tan, like too much tan for it to be November and wait for it, a track suit. Now, y'all hold that thought, cause it's gonna be important here in a minute.
Now back to that first picture, the one of the carolers. Picture this, we are jacked up on coke in a fancy barn with hot dogs cooking in a crock pot and these carolers come up on the auction block! Color me excited. Here we go folks!

Time to get my bidding on. I'm all about it. I mean come on the bid started at $5. Why not! Well I'm in the game til somewhere around $30. I bail out. I mean really, who needs these things that bad. Well, about that time I was distracted by a greasy shiny object (recall description of lady with no mirrors in her house and dirty hair) and lean over to discreetly whisper something to Diana.
Well being the good southern lady that I am, I covered my mouth with my auction card so I didn't hurt the woman's feelings. I mean bless her heart, she can't help it. Well son of gun, if the dang jabberin' auctioneer didn't take that as the bid and dang it if I didn't win it! "SOLD!" squeals the auctioneer, "TO THE LADY IN THE BACK!" I look up and look around to see who won these beauties! Well to quote Diana, "The look on your face when you realized you won them was priceless!" Well good gravy, how much did I pay for these dang things?
Well unfortunately I just won them at $50! Holy crap! How am I gonna explain this one to Big Daddy? Well the auction gods must have been smiling down on me and amused b/c upon check out, there was some discount. Phew!
Miss Priss and Big Daddy were asleep by the time we were home from the auction, so they awoke the next morning with these guys standing at the front door like they were selling girl scout cookies. All I hear as Big Daddy is going down the stairs is, "Ah, come on. You didn't!" I just handed him a cup of coffee and said, "well there's a kinda funny story that goes with it" and kissed him good morning.

Here's another little goody I got from the auction, thought it was perfect for the front porch after I spruced it up with some greenery, red fleece scarf and a burlap bow.

And I always love my green front door but I really am diggin' with some Christmas goodies! Well apparently the carolers are here to stay as Miss Priss loves them. And well, dang it, now they even have a story to go with them! And well....I'm not so sure about what I said in the beginning, I'm still kinda fond of that quote. And hey, I did end up with some dang fine carolers.
merry christmas,

Now I love, love, love my green front door. And I'm totally diggin' it all decked for Christmas. Can't see the lights but they are the pearl shapped red, white and green lights.

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